Oh, who's that on a Sunday?

Spotting the florist on the doorstep holding - what else would it be - a bunch of flowers

Sont ceux pour moi?

(Florist thinks - of course they are; why else would I be here with them)

Yes, Mr FF has done what he always does - excels at those romantic gestures that women the world over hope for on the 14th February. When he used to send the roses to my office it was always with a feeling of loved-up pride that I would carry them home on (in the early days) a crowded tube back to North London and then (once living together) on a civilised train carriage back to Hampshire.

I won't link to the previous bouquets he has sent me and that I have already blogged about - each bunch stands alone in its beauty.

Being separated today of all days is hard but we know it is happening for a good reason

A meme for December

Back in October I was tagged by justme
but I wanted to wait until I was really in the mood (in other words when I felt a bit too rubbish to think up something original - like me like now). However, I have put a bit of thought into it - hence the brain on the right here.

I know memes aren't everyone's cup of tea but, just as I like finding out all about the bloggers who increasingly make up part of my day, I thought you might like to know a little bit more about me. Is this vanity? I'm not sure really. So what if it is.


My Ex - was from the world of casinos and betting.* He was a charming gambler who cost me a lot of money. I don't have the gambing gene at all - I'm really glad about this as I have seen first-hand what it can do.


Maybe I should - finally lose the weight I put on when I gave up smoking eight years ago. It's something I've talked a lot about but being larger doesn't worry me as much as it maybe should.


I love - living in our house in the French countryside. We back on to a wood -in fact our garden is a bit of sectioned-off wood which we have tried to tame. We can see rabbits playing in the field opposite the house and there are brown cows in the furthest field. I think this is what you call an idyll.

People would say - I was vain and talkative and a bit of a show-off. They are probably all true.

But really - I'll try not to interrupt you if you want to say something now.

I don't understand - people who can torture other people or animals for pleasure. I feel very violent towards such people and know that if I could take the law into my own hands and dole out retribution then I would.

When I wake up in the morning - I'm quite bright and affable. I'm what you call a 'lark'.

I lost - a beautiful ring that my father gave my mother many years ago. I'm sure it is somewhere in the house and every now and then I try to find it - without success.

My past is - full of escapades, adventures and secrets.

Parties are - something I used to love and yearn to be seen at. They are not part of my current life at all.

I wish - I had more patience.

Dogs - are the best creatures in the whole world and I'm glad I have two dogs and no children.

Cats - are okay, I suppose.

Tomorrow - I really will chop down the shrubs ready for the hard winter - I've talked about it for the last two months.

I have a low tolerance for - people who deny themselves a bit of fun in life. I'm at a stage now where I feel rested and at peace and with someone that I love dearly but, if I didn't have a past crammed with things I maybe shouldn't have done, I might feel that I had missed out. How awful to be old one day and feel that you have missed out. Go on - do something you've always wanted to do. Don't have regrets.

If I had a million pounds - my life would not really change. I already have everything I want.

I am totally terrified - of being buried alive. Do you know that in Victorian times you could be buried with a bell inside your coffin so that - if the unthinkable happened and you were still alive underground - you could alert people to your dilemma. It makes me shudder to even type it and cremation is going to be my choice of disposal


Anyway, that's it, over and done with. The rules of this meme are that there are no rules - if you want to take it then please be my guest.

*anyone re-reading this will see that I have changed his description slightly.After thinking about it I decided that from my previous entry he might be a bit identifiable if you were from that world. Although, in reality, anyone with a love of nightclubs, baccarat and gambling is hardly going to spend their time reading my blog.

All by myself

Mr French Fancy is in England for 10 days or so and it is a long time since we have been separated. One gets so used to having someone sharing a space that it comes as a bit of a shock to suddenly find yourself with so much more of an area to roam around in. There are a few advantages - I suppose so anyway (trying to think of them takes a bit of doing though).

We met 11 years ago this month- well,actually, we didn't exactly meet. Ours was an internet friendship that then turned into a cyber romance (I know, you've immediately started thinking about that Second Life couple, haven't you) and, when we finally met in real life about two months after chatting all the time online, we realised that life would be better for both of us if we became An Item.

He is as perfect for me as anybody could be and I have to say that we have a lovely life together. I sometimes feel a bit guilty that I don't really have any worries, but I have had my share in the past so I've done my time.

That cliché about having to kiss a lot of frogs - I don't know about that. I'd been engaged four times (and in fact got engaged a few weeks after we met, had a ceremony booked at Kensington Roof Gardens but we decided to cancel it in the end) but somehow it never felt like the right person and I suppose I was so young and silly that it was always the idea of the marriage that was appealing. The second time, the wedding was called off with just nine days to go so that was a Bit Of A Situation really. I always gave engagement rings and presents back though - I was fair.

Attraction

There used to be a television comedy called Black Books and one very funny episode featured a woman in ecstasy because of the voice of the man who read the shipping and weather forecast on the radio. He had a stereotypically sexy voice, breathy and low and she used his voice instead of a vibrator - if you get my meaning.

Now, I'm not exactly like that but voices do feature heavily in what I think makes a man attractive. No matter what someone's face is like, if they don't have a nicely pitched voice with well modulated tones I would not find them in the least appealing. Even Beckham, as goodlooking as he is, once he opens his mouth that's it. The reverse is also true - someone like Stephen Fry with his odd features is very attractive to me because his voice and accent are quite entrancing - and as for Richard Dawkins, Lalla, you are a lucky woman.

February blues

Bit of a strange month really. I've felt down more than I've felt up and I'm quite a bright person normally. Been eating stodgier food than usual as a comfort thing so maybe that's made me feel a bit lumpy and there's not been much to do around here, which makes me long to be in a big city.

I know this feeling will pass. To help it on its way my lovely man took me off to our local florist yesterday and I picked many many blooms.

I won't be sorry when March comes tomorrow. Birthday months are always good and then it will almost be April which is our holiday month, when we'll be off to the French Alps. My new camera will then get its first intensive test.

My Valentine's Day Bouquet

Younger Men

I live with someone who is 15 years younger than me.

Only once has someone wondered if I was his mother and that was one set of our French neighbours. I really felt for the lady who asked it because her husband must have realised she was totally wrong and tried to shut her up when he realised what she was going to ask. I started to laugh and she just went redder and redder.

When we first started going out I felt a little self-conscious about the age difference and wondered how apparent it seemed. If there was an agony show on tv about 'toyboys', I would watch it and scrutinise each couple to see how odd they looked together. The thing is that not many of them looked odd to me.

My partner and I met over the internet, in a mirc chat room. To begin with I lied about my age but it takes a lot of discipline to be a good liar and I soon got in a muddle with a timeline of my past. It was better to come clean and my man was very hurt to think I had anguished over something that he had realised pretty early on anyway. It just goes to prove that when the right person comes along age is no barrier.