Isn't this rotten - I don't come and visit you (I've popped in here and there though) and then do a post after three months. I'm doing it as much for me as to reach out to you lot - in the years to come I will look back at my blog and remember how my life panned out, this is a dear diary really...
It is now four months since Mr FF chose to leave He is living with someone else now and is very happy and settled. I've been on a couple of 'dates' and my profile on these dating sites seems to get me a lot of attention, but I am quite a fussy person. I'm not even sure what exactly I am looking for - but I guess I will know it when I meet him.
Work at the nursing home is going well but it does make me very tired. I do long days now, working from 7 - 7 with two 15 minute breaks and 30 mins for lunch. I do a few of these a week and sadly have to leave the bichons alone for some 13 hours. This is easy to type but it has been very hard to come to terms with. I looked into various options (neighbours, paying people to pop in, rehoming) but, at the proverbial end of the day, they have each other, pads are down on the floor for wees (although they have been very good at holding on to it so far), they get a longish walk at 5am (yes, I get up at 4.30 on my long days) and again at 7.30. Plus, on my days off, they have my more or less undivided attention. If I go out I bundle them into their look out seats in the car and they either come with me where I go or stay in the carpark somewhere, barking happily at passers-by.
Work is also sponsoring me in an NVQ in Health and Social Care. Every two weeks I go to a college where I am instructed in stuff and have essays to submit. Many of my fellow students seem thick as anything to me and seem to have trouble grasping the simplest of concepts. I know a lot of academics sneer at these NVQs (non vocational qualifications) and they seem very easy compared to the OU courses I did. When I asked my tutor if she preferred the Harvard referencing system in my essay she had no idea what I was talking about - still, I sound a bit contemptuous here and I really do not mean to be. My plan is to get this bit of paper (sometime in September), by which time I will have been working in care for about a year. I then think I will try and get a job as a deputy manager somewhere (usually you need a nursing qualification but I have seen a lot of adverts where this has been waived, as long as the manager is an RGN), I really need a 'better' sort of job.
I never thought I would end up a poorish person. I had a very comfortable, middle-class upbringing and wanted for nothing really. All my money went in France and also on nice living and improvements over there. My parents tried to drum into me the value of money and it is only now that their words ring in my head. Still, I got there in the end; I am very proud of my new budgeting skills.
My weight loss has more or less stabilised at four stone. This is mainly due to the fact that a couple of months ago I joined a gym and even though my shape is changing for the better and I am losing body fat, because of the increased muscle tone (there must be some muscles somewhere, surely) the actual loss on the scales does not reflect how I am looking. I have been busy selling off my former 'fat clothes' on e-bay; these nice clothes sell for a fraction of what I paid for them but it is still cash coming in and it saves them just hanging around here. I did a flying visit to the French house a little while ago to bring back some things to sell - I've flogged some jewellery that belonged to my mother, some presents I was given, a few other bits and pieces. Things I thought would be mine to pass on to someone have now ended up being sold - but we do what we can to get by and it was indeed necessary.
Oh my blogging friends, I have missed you but really did not feel in the mood for talking about my life. It must be a good sign I guess that I am now able to.