Tuesday, March 10, 2009

Need to know basis


I had to laugh when I saw this job vacancy* advertised (if you are having trouble getting the link to work - the ad is for MI6 operatives -a James Bond type job). You wouldn't think it would just be in the paper, like any other job, would you? I love the way at the end it says You should not discuss your application with anyone.

What do you think they would ask you at the interview? Where do you see yourself in five years time? Dead probably.

*Here's the advert, for those for whom the link won't work

At SIS (Or MI6 as you may know us) you’ll have a real opportunity to have an impact on national and international affairs. Become an Operational Officer at MI6 and you’ll collect and assimilate secret foreign intelligence to help the Government protect the UK’s security, stability and prosperity.

MI6 exists to tackle threats to the UK including terrorism, regional instability, the proliferation of weapons and drug trafficking. Wherever you have developed your skills - the commercial, public or charity sector – you’ll need real resilience, intellect, adaptability and judgement.

There are three types of Operational Officer. Our Case Officers plan and carry out secret operations overseas. The Targeting Officers build up intelligence pictures of different areas of interest and identify potential target agents. Finally, our Reports Officers, based mainly in London, assess, validate and deliver intelligence to the Government. They’re all roles in which you can have a major impact on the UK – and develop a fascinating, long-term career.

If you think you have the qualities we’re looking for, please visit www.mi6officers.co.uk

Please note, we only accept applications from British citizens. You should not discuss your application with anyone.

39 comments:

lakeviewer said...

Now, now. Your garden will need you; your husband will need you; your children, your folks, your publisher........

Steve said...

Do I get to work with and snog Hermione Norris? If so my application is in the post...

LadyFi said...

Love the ad!

I guess that you should write: For your eyes only on your application!

What's your name?

Bond. Basildon Bond. I've got letters after my name.

Dumdad said...

My name's Bond. Dumdad Bond. I've a licence to blog.

laurie said...

darn it, all i'm getting is a search screen. what's the ad??

A Woman Of No Importance said...

FF, the linkie thingie ist kaputt gegangen - How's the Goethe going, bytheway?! x

Dedene said...

Oh pooh! I can't get the link either.

In 6 years, I see myself as older, but still here in the countryside. Will I still be blogging?

Jennysmith said...

Gosh, FF, you couldn't make it up as richard Littlejohn would say. What a bizarre vacancy! Might go for it myself actually.

5 years time eh? Will still be hacked off with Husband and Kids and trippin' over the bloody cat!

How's it going with your OU?

French Fancy said...

lakeviewer - I'd be hopeless - can't keep a secret without much difficulty

Steve - spies snog everyone

Ladyfi - I couldn'r remember the end of that Basildon Bond gag - thanks for reminding me.

Dumdad Bond does have a ring to it (tries without fail to think of suitable ring joke)

laurie - shame, it's still working for me.It's an advert for MI6 agents - like James Bond

AWONI - I don't speak more than three words of German - although sturm und drang seems to be featuring a lot in my current module

Dedene - if you would like to be a female James Bond then the UK's MI6 would like you to apply

Jen - I thought it might be a joke and followed the Guardian's link to MI6's site - it's a genuine ad.

bindu said...

Good one!
Thanks for checking on me. I've just been a bit busy and preoccupied. I'm putting together a post ... will hopefully finish it today. Hope your week is going well!

Henry the Dog's Mum said...

Surprise, surprise - I can't see the ad or get the linnk either. I'll try from the office tomorrow.xxx

Rob-bear said...

1. Thanks for your post on my Chrome Range.

2. Given the way things are going in the world, MI6 is probably "running out" of agents faster than the organization can replace them. Hence the all-out search for people who are just "dying" to work for the British government. Truly, they shall be granted their wishes!

Rob-bear said...

P.S.: The title of your post reminds me of bakers, who share recipes, on a "knead to know" basis.

Ian Lidster said...

I remember reading a James Bond novel when I was in high school and mentioned to my mother that the character said Bond Street in London was named after his family. "Funny," said mother. "My mother (whose maiden name was Bond) said that it was named after her family." But yes, likely dead in five years, but an adventurous way to go, no doubt.

Phil Lowe said...

One moment: "Ah Miss Moneypenny.. blam blam....dang dadala dang dang dang..." Yep, I've sorted out my inner Bond and my app is on the way. Do I get to snog Samantha Bond? She's pretty cute and presumably not a relative. lol

French Fancy said...

bindu - glad things are fine. I do worry about fellow bloggers - silly of me really.

Henry's mum - I've c&p'd the bulk of the advert now. Perhaps Henry could apply - undercover canine activities - with a little camera in his collar?

Rob - yes, those agents are 'dying' all right. One thing I've always wanted to know is why did the channel 4 newsman'Gaby Rado' fall off the roof that time? It is something that has stayed with me since it happened. Say no more (taps nose in a mysterious manner).

I'll skate over the baker - as it were.

Ian - celebrated ancestry in your family then. I should have guessed. Descended from Sir Thomas Bond, no less, one of the forerunners in making London's Mayfair district so esteemed.

Phil - I guess lots of men have 'inner Bond' moments, when they sit and fantasise about the women and the guns...and the flash cars ...and the casinos etc. Me - I just used to want to be Amy in Little Women.

cheshire wife said...

I bet that the real job is nothing like as glossy as 007's appears to be.

Lane said...

Ooh would love to be a Spook. For maybe a week:-)

Larry M. Brow said...

I think it's probably alot closer to Alec Guinness's turn as George Smiley. I'm good at secrets, though. I just forget them. Saves trouble and keeps them safe.

I'm certain that you have to be good at languages, and that leaves me right out. I might be able to blend in my own culture, but I could never manage it in someone else's.

A Woman Of No Importance said...

I think it was so funny the bit about not being able to tell anyone - Not the person printing off/copying your CV professionally perhaps, not the taxi driver taking you to the interview - It's all a bit of a hoot, and they haven't got any better from when they just used to slope up to people they knew at Uni, to see if they would be interested - And we know where all that mullarkey got us! Laughable, FF! xx

justme said...

Right! I could do with some excitement! I'm off to apply........ don't tell anyone, will you?

Henry the Dog's Mum said...

WOW! You're right. Henry would be a brilliant little 'spook' wouldn't he - whispering into his collar. Bet he'd get on with Harry's little lady Jack Russell too:)

Brother Tobias said...

Loved this. I remember being interested years ago in joining the Intelligence Corps - mainly because the entrance qualification was just two 'O' Levels.

Alexandre Fabbri said...

Enthusiasts of the films of Polish director Krzysztof Kieslowski (Blind Chance, Dekalog, The Double Life of Véronique, Three Colours Trilogy, etc) are invited to drop by my chatroom at the Brasserie Alizé on the anniversary of the director’s death, this coming Friday evening, 13 March 2009, from around 1800 GMT. Please pass on the invitation to others and hopefully see you there!

French Fancy said...

cheshire wife - it's probably filing all the papers that say 'for your eyes only' - and not being allowed to look inside. Wouldn't that be awful, to have all that info literally at your fingertips and not able to read it.

Lane - I know, you just want to meet Harry Pearce.

Larry - the FF household are great fans of Mr Le Carré and all his spook stories. We watch the DVDs endlessly as well - Mr FF more than me. We love Smiley here.

justme - they'd probably be interested in you, with your 'outside activity' as it were. I think to be a successful spy one has to have an unmemorable face - to not be noticed.

AWONI - ludicrous, innit? 'Don't tell anyone'. I wonder if that is their use of humour. Me, I'd probably tell everyone.

BroTob - blimey, I could have joined it then - I've got three (to my shame, I know).

M.Fabbri - funnily enough we're watching the trilogy again and are halfway through 'Blue'. I'll try and pop in tonight - thanks for the invite.
Henry's mum - you could explain to your little boy that you've been away getting him this job.

Mama said...

Do they give Luncheon Vouchers, I refuse to take another job without them oh and will all my collegues look like Roger Moore :-). I'll take it. Kathy. ops I wasnt supposed to discuss it.

French Fancy said...

LV - Licence to vegetate

I'd rather have them look like Dalton or Brosnan - I went off Connery after he turned out to be a wife-beater

Cath said...

If that was in a film script we would say it was "far fetched"!! You just can't get the staff these days...

Congrats on POTD.

imbeingheldhostage said...

Well stink! I was all geared up to apply and then I got to the disclaimer that I had to be British. NOW what am I going to do with all of those skills?

Loved this, congrats on your POD nod from David!

French Fancy said...

Cath - thankius muchios

ibhh - Maybe they'd make an exception in your case - seeing as how you wouldn't need much training with your x-ray vision, super-strength, razor sharp mind.

Don't call us - we'll call you.

Moannie said...

I used to look like Judi Dench when I had her hairstyle-could I take my Zimmer frame do you think?

Muddy Boot Dreams said...

Are you not worried that they will come and conduct surveillance on you? After all this was supposed to be top secret you know....

Giving up state secrets, LOL. And now I am going to be in trouble for commenting....Ha ha.

Jen

Robynn's Ravings said...

I'm not even discussing this BLOG with anyone. One can never be too careful. Especially being an American citizen. I wouldn't want you to think I'm trying to infiltrate my way into a job application, not being British and all.

LOVE your post and especially your profile. Good laughs! Congrats on the POTD from D. McMahon. Found you through him. I follow a Brit living in France who posts the most ecclectic and amazing music/videos at "French With Music." Now I've found someone funny, too. What seredipity!

Robynn's Ravings said...

AND SereNdipity (with an "n"). Do not confuse the two.

Lola said...

Any job applications for Bond girl? I'd be one mean Money Penny.
I found you via authorblog, but I'll be stopping here more often from now on. Ciao

Sandi McBride said...

Oh yes, I think I'd like a job like that...excuse me while I apply...
Sandi
ps
congrats on Post of the Day mention from David!

French Fancy said...

Moannie - I think a zimmer frame would be a perfect disguise for a spy and you could beat people over the head with it

MBD - hello there, yes we are probably being watched now -although considering some of the things that I have looked at online no doubt my name is on some list somewhere (Gaby Rado we won't forget you).

Robyn - hello and thank for the tip about French with Music - I'm going to check it out in a moment.

Lola - hello, thank you and you're very welcome. I'd prefer to be Q with all the gadgets.I do love fiddling with things

hello Sandi and thank you

wouldn't it be funny if someone became a top spy just from finding my blog entry.

French Fancy said...

I could then send secret messages via my posts and have agents names discreetly tucked between all the drivel

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