Tuesday, March 30, 2010

Anonymous


I deleted a comment from my last post, left by a Newark, Nottingham-based person. I deleted it but that doesn't mean I haven't thought about it. He or she left the comment in relation to what I had put in one of my own replies to someone in the Comment Box.

Now this is what I had put

well, one of the things that I think is important with netiquette - I know certain bloggers who blog an awful lot and I am always leaving comments on their pages but they seldom do on mine. That is not good netiquette. You are not included in this btw - in fact 99% of the people on my blogroll are not included in this - I am just thinking of one person and it has begun to bug me.

The anonymous commenter then replied
Self-centered much? Maybe they dont -want- to comment.


My reply to the anonymous person is this - why did you choose to be anonymous? You must be a reader of this blog to be interested enough to actually read the comments that others have left. Why not come out and say what you want without hiding? As for this regular blogger 'not wanting to comment' on my blog. I see that they visit all their other blog friends on a regular basis so why choose eight times out of ten not to visit and comment on mine? I feel quite justified in thinking and putting this.

As for being 'self-centred' - blogging is a self-centred pursuit, my friend. So yes, I am self-centred.

What do you all think - if you repeatedly find that someone whose blog you go to whenever a new post is published does then not do the same for you - does it wear thin or do you stay loyal to them regardless?

60 comments:

Moannie said...

Well I do think you have a point, but I have to admit that, although I always visit newcommentors to my blog I have never yet been to see Any anonymouses[sp?] mostly because it annoys me,I mean we are all annonymouses if we use [bloody hell, another word I can't spell coming up] psuedonyms??? [that looks about right] But we give up a lot of ourselves in our blogs. And another thing...my group is quite small and manageable, even though I do have a lot of followers, but thankfully they don't all write very often. And they all recip [another one-come on google, give us spellcheck, please] reciprocate.

Good thought provoking post.

Bill said...

A long ago, when first blogging, someone referred to lurkers in their blog. At that time I didn't know the reference but the general use of the word implied something not nice.

Anonymous isn't an unclear a word - in fact it's rather precise. Someone doesn't want to be known. Unfortunately (or fortunately) this is Blogland and identities help the process.

So, your Anon either wants to toss sand in the gears, is overly shy or perhaps knows you and wants to say something sans personality ... or this person is just a basic twit.

ps: I've read a few articles proclaiming blogging is dead. It's lost it's soul due to the sheer volume of noise and banal, vapid blogs. Maybe your Anon character is evidence there are now too many rats in the cellars and attics.

Carol said...

Personally, I think it's quite cowardly to leave a rather nasty comment anonymously! I believe that if you have something to say then you should have the conviction to stand by it.

I'm a bit confused (I've been doing Uni stuff all day so brain is a bit boggled)...does the person your talking about not answer your comments on their own blog but answer others (Cause that is just rude!) or do you mean that they dont read your blog or they read your blog but not comment?

I read and comment on a few blogs who's writers never come and comment on mine...or they used to but have not visited in a while. If I like what they have to say then I keep visiting...if not then they kind of fall by the wayside...I guess it's just like freindships in real life! (did that help?)

I think I should perhaps sign this comment off as 'Thick in Wiltshire'

C x

ladyfi said...

Some of the major bloggers I visit don't leave comment.. I guess they don't have the time..

But generally, if I leave comments on other blogs a lot and they don't reciprocate at all I usually do not stay loyal.

French Fancy said...

Moannie - I've now removed the facility for Anonymous people to comment on my blog. They either have to have a proper identity or just not comment

Bill - I don't mind lurkers at all. I often read people's blogs and don't comment. I don't have a problem at all with someone not commenting on my blog.

I didn't make my point very well. What was pissing me off (to use some British vernacular) was someone whose blog I have loyally commented on since its inception. They used to reciprocate on mine but seldom do now. This is what has irked me because I can't rationalise it.

Carol - I have tried to clarify what I mean. By the way I have been having a lot of bother trying to leave a comment on your blog. I was completely unable to for the 'stupid' post - but I did pinch it for Facebook and gave you a thank you there

French Fancy said...

Yay Fi - it does wear thin, doesn't it.

Gosh - I sound so pompous and it is not meant in this way at all. I genuinely have been racking my brains to think if I have offended this person in some way.

Of course in the scheme of things it doesn't really matter very much - but you know sometimes things refuse to go away from being thought about.

Dumdad said...

I think I know what you mean. Unless, of course, I'm the blogger you're referring to!

For amateur bloggers like ourselves it's polite to respond with comments every now and then. I sometimes get behind with reading blogs (so many good ones out there) or am too busy to comment. There are times when I think I'll cut down the blogs I read to 10 or 15 but I never do.

But it's impossible to read all the blogs on my blogroll all of the time though, let alone comment!

French Fancy said...

Nah, it would never be you Dumdad. In fact I wouldn't tell you even if it was (were?). But it's not. Yes - my usual precise and muddled prose there.

I also get behind reading blogs but most of those in my sidebar I do try to keep up to date with. I make it sound like a chore but I really enjoy it. I sit here with my OU studies and every 20 minutes or so I go back to the blogosphere.

willow said...

I don't understand anonymous comments. If they're going to all the trouble to leave a comment, why not stand behind it? Sometimes it's a cowardly way to leave an insult.

If I repeatedly leave comments and never receive one in return, I take it as a brush off.

By the way, blogging is far from dead. Although, I've seen some commit blog suicide! :^)

Ayak said...

I've sort of lost the plot here a bit but I'll attempt to try and understand what you mean. I tend to read all the blogs on my list but sometimes I'm a bit late in doing so, and if this is the case usually someone else has said what I am thinking, so I avoid commenting so that I don't repeat what someone else has said. There are blogs that I read where I sometimes don't comment, because they are simply a good read but don't in my opinion necessarily need a comment. Then there are blogs where I comment but those bloggers don't respond to my comments or comment on my blog.

Does that cover it all? I guess it doesn't bother me if people choose not to comment, because blogging is really for me primarily...although comments are always very much appreciated, particularly when they are supportive or offer advice.

Oh dear ...that was a bit long-winded wasn't it? I don't know if I've missed the point now!

Incidentally how do you know where an Anonymous person is?

Ken Devine said...

Hey, I'm from Newark, Notts! Was I sleepwalking? Nah, twasn't moi!

I'm really pleased that I only have relatively few on my sidebar, otherwise I would have difficulty keeping up. I am very tempted to increase this number however which would mean spreading thin...perhaps!

Blogging dead? I think not but I would love to see an example of blog suicide (Willow).

Nora Johnson said...

Dear FF,

I understand the problem - I think we've all been there - but have developed a Blackadder-style cunning plan! If I find myself always the one leaving comments with no response, I "miss" their next post (or three). Usually the blogger will then reply (they miss their audience).If still no response, however, I cut my losses and move on. After all, there are so many other great blogs out there in blogland while I've got so much work to do here on earth and already too little time to do it...!

btw Can't get out of mind the image of Poppy & Misty eating all that veg!!

XOXO LOLA:)

Contemporary Troubadour said...

I'm still learning about blogging etiquette, so I'm no expert. From what I've seen, for personal blogs, comment exchanges do seem to be expected. It seems complicated though. If you don't like the general tenor of the blog someone else writes while that blogger comments regularly on your own blog, what options are acceptable? (I'm asking because I don't know what I would do -- any advice?)

As for for more commercial blogs or blogs for a cause (charity, support) that receive multiple hundreds of comments, am I right in thinking it's not as much expected that the blog moderator will respond? That's been my observation. I do find I'm less motivated to check back to see if there's been a response to whatever I've said, but I also accept that the moderator expects that to be the case. (And I def. don't expect the moderator to check out my place.)

Oy, two years of blogging this month and I still feel totally green about it :)

A Woman Of No Importance said...

FF, I'm guilty of not always commenting, because I sometimes read yours in big gulps, usually when I'm at work and we have a blocker on comments... I'm a bit absent at the mo' from blogs because of stress at work and the other thing that you're currently providing lots of lovely support to me (via your kind and much appreciated comments) around...

I don't comment as much as I used to on blogs - I can't as between my up to three hour daily commute and full time work I don't have time in the week... It makes me very sad. Anonymouses leave me cold and I often delete the bitternesses that they spill (those and the dodgy Chinese ones!).

I don't want to put the word verif machine one, because big bloggers (like Braja) would never visit me again... And then the baddies would win, and I'd hate that...

Love you, thank you for your wild charm, wit and honesty, friend,

Fhi xxx

Steve said...

I'm no angel, I'm human. If the recipricocity isn't there then I drop them... sounds callous, but I stop reading and devote my time to someone else instead (unless they're blog is so amazing that I can't stop reading it of course). Maybe it's selfish and petty but *shrugs* it's the way I am. And you're right blogging is a self centred thing. This is your blog and you can do whatever you like with it - that's the whole point. As for anonymous comments - I rarely publish them myself unless they are genuinely worthy in themselves or funny.

Jean said...

I do know exactly what you mean.
If someone regularly ignores my comments I tend to just naturally drift away, like an unwanted friend, to somewhere else. It's like unrequited love.

I have occasionally left an anon comment, if it was something relevant to the blog but rather embarrassing to me. But I would never leave rude or critical comments at all. Life is too short. Your anon commenter must be very small-minded. Why try to look big and clever if nobody knows who he/she is, let alone the fact that he/she must be a total plonker. In my humble non-anonymous opinion !!

Delana said...

Hi FF,
I've had several people comment anonymously and afterward have found out they did just because they couldn't figure it out. Most of my commenters are newer at this than I! I guess we're all learning. And I don't know how to help them because I have "an identity" and it's always been simple. As for the nasty remark...I get the gist I guess...but this community can offer advice and help and comments in a more constructive (and kinder manner). And BTW....12+ pounds. Wow! good for you.

Lulu LaBonne said...

My nicest comments have been anon ones, there are quite a lot of people who look at blogs sometimes but don't want to go through all the palaver of signing up to get the correct sort of identity.

The real story here is about why one blogs?

softinthehead said...

Oh my goodness I hope it wasn't me. I am always dropping by and don't comment that often, but that I because I don't think I have anything interesting to add. Anyway I have taken your comments to heart and will try better.

Alienne said...

I hadn't really thought about it before, so I have just had a think. I have a list of blogs that I read (but have not got round to putting it on a sidebar yet) and I read them because I like them; I don't always comment - sometimes I have nothing worth saying, sometimes I am reading at work and the firewall won't let me (it won't let me comment on yours or VLIF for example) and I don't always have the chance when I get home. I always visit new people who comment on mine, and revisit if I like them, but I am always surprised when anyone does. Comment I mean. Now I have forgotten what I was going to say ... mmm basically, I am not bothered about people commenting. I read the blogs I like because I like them and I comment when I have something to say or I want to offer comfort or encouragement or advice. But I don't mind if those bloggers don't read mine - and I do not know if people read it and don't comment as I haven't got one of those counter thingys. Does that make sense - sorry it's a bit late and I am too tired to follow this

Emma said...

I know how you feel. There are certain people that I've stoppped commenting on because they don't acknowledge me at all.

I understand that if you are Dooce and you get 300 comments a day that you could never reply to everyone but if someone comments and you don't comment back, I find it really rude!

Emma said...

I know how you feel. There are certain people that I've stoppped commenting on because they don't acknowledge me at all.

I understand that if you are Dooce and you get 300 comments a day that you could never reply to everyone but if someone comments and you don't comment back, I find it really rude!

Lynda Howells said...

l think if you are not prepared to put your name to a comment, you shouldn't make it..simple as that. If some one leaves a comment, if you feel it needs a reply great, but if it is just commenting on liking something you have done, l don't feel you have to answer. If they have made an interesting comment or disagree, then l think it is only polite to reply. But these are my own views and no ones's!!Like your blog by the wayxlynda

French Fancy said...

willow - I suppose someone hiding behind an anonymous persona wants to have the pleasure of commenting without having his or her words attributed to them and possibly having some far from pleasant feedback right back at them.

Ayak - now that is something that I've never heard or thought before - not leaving a comment if someone else has already said what I intended to say.

A lot of comments people leave - and I do this too - are generic comments and are always appreciated. It would never bother me if all I ever read on here were simple things like 'a good read'/ 'enjoyed this - thank you' etc.

Do you really not comment if someone has actually said the same thing? I spent three years blogging 'for me', where hardly any comments were ever left. Now that I have got close to some people I do look forward to seeing them here and also spending time on their blogs. I've carried on leaving the odd comment on this particular person's blog but I won't be there as much and certainly will not do the seond and third comments I have been known to do.

As for knowing where someone comes from - get a tracker. I use Feedjit.

Ken - no, I know it wasn't you. I have a new system now. If a person posts a comment on my blog a few times and I visit them and love their blog and feel they could be a soulmate in this blogosphere we inhabit, well then they get put on the sidebar. Of course I could use the dashboard reader but I find the sidebar much more handy.

Yay Nora - that is exactly what I do. Yes, they do miss an audience don't they - despite a lot of people saying they blog for themselves it is very nice to be appreciated.

As for fruit and veg and the bichons - Misty won't eat anything like this and Poppy will eat it at al. However, being an almost starved to death rescue Poppy will eat anything. We always have to remember to push the chairs away from the table if people have been over for a meal and I haven't cleared straight away - yes, we have been caught out a few times

CT - now that's a much more succinct way of putting it - 'comment exchanges' - yes, that is totally what I meant. With all my favourite blogs I leave a comment and then always pop back to see what response there is and then I sometimes go back a second or third time in case there are developments that have come to light in the column.

The thing is that now I do not have a job I have a lot more time than most people. I shouldn't be so tough on others perhaps. As for commercial blogs - I don't think I have ever posted on one.

got to have a little break now before answering the rest.

Ayak said...

FF: Yes it's true. I don't comment if someone has said exactly what I want to say...although that doesn't happen often. But you know sometimes I actually don't have a comment to make...so I don't. I never realised that it was some kind of unwritten rule that you had to comment on blogs that you follow. Certainly I don't expect it of regular followers of my blog.

I do have one of those tracker things near the bottom of my blog...but I just glance it occasionally to see where people have come from, because I find it quite exciting to have visitors from all over the world. In fact I'm pretty certain that many of these people read and don't comment. But I don't actually tie them to a particular comment, because I'd have to check the time someone posted, and what time was on the tracker, and it feels a little bit like stalking somehow!

French Fancy said...

Oh AWONI - it really wasn't aimed at you. Anyone with a full time job or studies would never have me impatient or upset with them that they did not comment on my page. Not at all. I love coming to your blog and even if you were never to reappear here I would still be at your place.

I really feel for you and know that if we were near enough we would have become firm real life friends by now. MInd you that goes for about 95% of the people in my sidebar.

Thinking of you with worry and hope that you will come through all this unscathed and stronger than ever

Steve - you are my blogging twin and I claim my £5. That is exactly how I feel and I am fine with it.

I must say since removing the 'Anonymous' facility all my spam has stopped too.

Jean - yes we are of one mind as well. I must say that I have never left an Anonymous comment anywhere and have also had spats with people because I can be very outspoken and sometimes too hasty with something or other.

My mum used to try and get me to 'think before I speak'. Now of course it should be to 'think before I type' - still, people accept us - foibles and all

Delana - Oh, I don't think this person doesn't understand how to use the Blogger system. In fact if they 'owned up and stood up - and lots of other phrases with the word 'up' in them - well, no doubt I would have respect that they did this and then one day they and I would have a laught about this.

I do like bold people who say what they think. The chances are that I would even get on with this person - but I wish they would unmask themselves

Lu - do you not mind having anon comments. I do have occasional anon comments from someone whom I know - and that is fine. But I think it was the reprimand in this that made me - not cross, because it is a silly thing to be cross about but, puzzled really. I wouldn't have taken them to task if they had signed their blog name to a statement like that.

I blog because I've done it for about five or six years now and I love it. Even if everyone stopped coming here I would still blog.

The thing is that I feel spurned by the person I referred to - the one that will visit without fail every other commenter on their blog but will perhaps only visit me 2 times out of 5.

They have appeared with this posting incidentally. To all those I said 'no, it's not you' - it truly isn't.

softinthehead - I haven't known you long enough to even be upset if you didn't come regularly. This is someone who has been around in my orbit here for longer than you. Don't worry please -

Alienne - you have such a busy life - home and work - and I would never be upset about a busy person not coming to see me. This particular person doesn't work and seems to have enough time to visit everyone else.

I guess they and I are not the buddies that I once thought.

Emma - you are in the same place that I am in then. Why bother indeed.

Lynda - hello and welcome to the blog. I don't always rant away like this but I do always - or usually - leave quite lengthy comments here. This is actually the bit I like best - the interaction with people.

Coming to check you out now

French Fancy said...

Hello again Ayak - I find it fun to look at the tracker and I do sometimes monitor the time someone said something for a very good reason. Coming up to my 10,000th view I wanted to send a present to the person who would turn out to be the 10,000th - It was actually Anne who I know you know.

When I saw the comment that was left anonymously they were the only person to have posted in a five hour span - so again I could pinpoint it exactly.

Obviously it is not an unwritten rule about reciprocity (is there such a word?) - it is just a nice way to be I feel that's all. None of this is aimed at the busy people who work and blog. I would never expect people with a job and a family to devote their time to leaving comments here. This wasn't the case at all.

Molly Potter said...

Hi FF,
I am pretty sure from various clues that you are talking about me. (Not about the anonymous comment bit – I wouldn’t know how to do that - the not commenting on your blog). If you are not referring to me - then I my paranoia has been sparked up by your post and I own that. However, you have kept the identity of the person you are talking about anonymous (to protect them?) and therefore you are free to deny it's me and make me look like the paranoid fool I might well be. If it is me – you could have just asked me through Facebook and not blogged about me!!! (said with love!!!) I would have happily explained........directly......

I always read your posts but sometimes (quite often) I cannot open the comments. I try re-loading but it just won't let me comment and I get frustrated. Other days it works - it didn't yesterday when I really wanted to respond but it has today. It did not occur to me to inform you of this -sorry.

However, now the topic has been raised. Please indulge me a little!!!! I blog because I enjoy writing – full stop. I might be a bit deluded in thinking people comment because they want to – not just because they want me to read their blog. (I realise now that I have been a bit deluded(!) – reading some of the responses to this post.) I can see some reciprocation of comments helps make it feel like a community and I regularly comment on other people’s posts when I a) can and b) feel I have something to say. I genuinely don’t do it to fish for their comments. If I thought my posts (and a sense of duty to comment) had become a chore for someone, I would say – please, please don't read them! Life really is too short.

Having said that, I do like getting comments of course, but they are not my main reason for posting. I also don’t consider who has commented and who hasn’t – I just engage with the comments. I love the wit, information, supportive and (polite) challenge they present. Sometimes comments have really touched me.

When I started blogging last October, I did not bank on having to engage in a whole netiquette thing – not to say I haven’t enjoyed doing so but with full time work and a young family – I really do have to limit the time I spend blogging and commenting!!!!

If, as I do a bit now, I should feel obliged to comment, then some magic has gone for me.
If it was me you referred to – I hope that makes you feel better – there really was nothing personal going on.
xxxx

Ayak said...

Well I returned to respond again to your response to me, but before doing so I've just read Molly Potter's comment, and actually this makes me feel quite sad..in particular her last para

"If, as I do a bit now, I should feel obliged to comment, then some magic has gone for me.
If it was me you referred to – I hope that makes you feel better – there really was nothing personal going on"

Maybe you should have made a personal approach to the person who you seem reluctant to name, because it would seem that some, like Molly, are feeling bad about thinking they have offended you in some way.

I'm not quite sure what you hope to have achieved by this, but as Molly says "I hope it makes you feel better".

French Fancy said...

Molly - just a quickie because I am almost out of the door to go to Weight Watchers.

It's not you - I've already said higher up in the box this is in no way 'aimed' (sorry for the military terminology) at busy working mums with a demanding lifestyle. I've sent you a Facebook message)

Ayak - goodness, third time for you here today.

Ayak said...

Well judging by your last comment FF...I am now assuming it's me you're referring to? Well if it is, I really can't say I noticed that I hadn't conformed to what was apparently expected of me.

If it is me...you could just have come straight out and said so you know. There really is no need to make cryptic comments. I'm truly a person who believes in being up-front and honest in all things.

And this is indeed my 4th comment today on this thread. I do hope that's allowed?

Mark said...

I'm not sure there is much left to add to this debate!

But for me, I like to leave a comment, even if it is a one liner, because it sort of says 'thanks for that'to whoever wrote the post. And yes, there is a sense of community too.

I think the only time I've felt a bit miffed was a blog that the author replied to almost all of the other comments, but never to mine.

French Fancy said...

Oh dear - what a can of worms I have opened here. Oh well, I've put my foot in things far worse than this in the past.

Molly - I've also found it very difficult to comment on certain blogs the last few days. Blogger seems to be throwing up error messages all over the place.I know you love writing and you are extraordinarily talented at it. I've got to say that I don't understand a lot of your posts - they are far too academic for me and I've mentioned before that I often find it very hard to read long pieces - not because they are not interesting but because I just don't seem to have the brain power.

I've sent you a message via FB as I mentioned just before.

xx

Ayak - I was daft to mention that you had returned again - sorry about that. I pop in and out of comment boxes loads of times so it was silly of me to say that.

Do I feel better about having raised this? I really don't know. One thing that did cross my mind though was that the 'Anonymous' poster might have actually removed his IP tag from my tracker - lots of people do this and in fact I might have been wrong saying they came from Nottingham - hmm, not sure about that at all now.

I think the fact that quite a few people in this box feel as I do shows me that my feelings are not unique. Some people find certain things mildly - if not annoying - then certainly slightly irksome. Different things bother different folk. I might feel quite ambivalent towards things that would upset other people.

For instance when people are invited over to me it never bothers me a jot whether or not they bring something with them. It is something I do when invited somewhere. I do know people however who would get very upset if you did not turn up with wine, flowers or chocolates, so different strokes and all that.


Hello Mark - goodness, I never expected this to have the result it did - I truly never did.

You said *I like to leave a comment, even if it is a one liner* - yes, that is me exactly. The same as I would say hello to someone I knew vaguely if seeing them in passing - it is just an acknowledgement.

The Accidental Fan said...

I'm guessing that Anonymous is someone you know, a regular visitor.

Anyhow, if you want another way of tracking who posts on your blog let me know. I think that if you have the balls to make a personal attack on someone then you should leave your identity.

On the other hand, I don't agree with you but as a blogger I was never one for commenting on others' unless I really had something to say. I'm far too narcissitic.

French Fancy said...

Hello TAF. I'm quite happy using Feedjit and in fact hardly ever look at it. Occasionally I will check to see what prompted lots of hits (usually 'Thai girls and their pingpong balls/Frontline doesn't work any more/ a post for glove fetishists).

As for not agreeing with me - everyone has different ideas on everything really and I wouldn't like for everyone to feel the same way - well, maybe just a teensy weensy bit :p

Ayak said...

Well I wouldn't have a clue about removing IPs from trackers or whatever, so Anonymous wouldn't have been me. It would never occur to me to post anonymously...but I thought the Anonymous poster wasn't really the subject of your post, but that you were referring to someone specifically who had not commented on your blog, when you have commented on their's..so you still haven't said whether you were referring to me?

If it is, then please do say so that at least it will stop anyone else from wondering...or even becoming slightly paranoid.

French Fancy said...

I don't want people to be paranoid and if I could take this post away I would. I'm not going to keep saying to people 'No it's not you, nor you'.

I'm going to draw a metaphorical line under this comment box now and do something I seldom do - not respond to any further remarks


______________________________________

Molly Potter said...

Boo

Molly Potter said...

That was as in beak-a-boo

Not boo boo!!!

It was the line - it made me naughty

Molly Potter said...

peek even!!!

have lost it!

French Fancy said...

That did make me laugh

Metropolitan Mum said...

Hi there. I wanted to leave a comment following on the follow - but got distracted by the little one. Anyway, I like your blog! And yes, people who never come back to comment back annoy me too.

Angie Muresan said...

I don't have one way friendships. I comment on the blogs I like, and if I get comments then I know I've met a friend. If I don't then it's not meant to be. I'd rather devote my time to my kids and my other friends.
But I've had some nasty anonymous comments too, not from bloggers though, but from people that know of me and think they know me.

Dash said...

Oh our friend anonymous, I have had a couple of catty comments from him/her. I don't mind constructive criticism, but if they are going to get personal, as someone else has already said, they should have the balls to put their name to it.
XX

Anne in Oxfordshire said...

I comment on the blogs I like, and if I get comments then I know I've met a friend.

I have a list of blogs that I read (but have not got round to putting it on a sidebar yet) and I read them because I like them.

I do not get round to answering comments a lot of the time, and as I have done just recently and do periodically is thank my readers and everyone who have left comments with their own post.

Sometimes I email them and thank them within the email. And if it is a new reader, I will pop over to their blog , have a read, leave a comment and thank them for calling into me.

e said...

Hello FF,

I just came by to extend proper greetings since my days are now eaten away with work and I've not been around much.

I hope things are well apart from this and good for you not allowing anonymous comments. I leave responses to commentors as I am able. From the looks of things I'm a bit behind on blog visits...

Take Care.

Lane said...

I've been a bit out the loop for a while and leaving very few comments anywhere.

However, I know exactly what you mean. Blogging for me is about connections and conversation. Without that, I'm not really interested. (Although having said that, I do scan some of the 'big' American bloggers but would never dream of commenting on them. They have enough 'fans':-)

Hope Poppy and Misty are well! x

Emily said...

That is a very insightful post. I agree with you on the self centered thing. blogging is very much a self centered venture. but i do think many people benefit from other people blogging so it's a win win situation really.
As for the anonymous person...yeah own up to it, I say. Although he pr she may make some enemies in the blogosphere if he or she reveals herself. lovely blog!

French Fancy said...

Hello Metro Mum, you arrived on quite an untypical post really. I'll have to try and keep up the drama now - so you will stick around.

Angie - yes, when you'd mentioned your nasty comments before I was astounded. Knowing you as I do I put it down to jealousy due to the good looks of you and your family. People can be very silly when they know beautiful people.

Dash - Yes I agree but I also have to say that I do seem a hypocrite about this. I am rebuking the anon person and then not naming the person who has visited all their commenters a lot of times bar me - who gets treated to an occasional visit.

I always knew I had hypocritical tendencies and this proves it. Oh well, it could be worse; I could be a pyschopath.

Anne - hello again. It is very hard to keep up with a sidebar or dashboard full of active blogs. I really don't know how busy working fathers and mothers or carers - in fact anyone with a demanding life - manage to have a blog on the go as well.

I have lots of casual blogs I dip in and out of - and they do it back to me. I lurk sometimes - although 'lurk' is a misnomer - I look at a lot of 'clever' blogs to try and learn things but they are academically so far ahead of me that anything I said would be so far below their level, well - they might mock me for my ignorance. Sometimes I just put an inane remark to show that I have visited and appreciated what they put, but am unable to add to the discussion - I think it is only polite really.

e - you have more than enough on your plate without having to worry about visiting blogs. You have my admiration and support.

Lane - Oh I do miss you being around the blogosphere. Come back soon.

Misty and Poppy are doing just fine. Hope Teabag and Peggy are the same

French Fancy said...

Emily - hello and welcome to the blog.Even if I had nobody leaving feedback I would still blog because it is fun and gets the stuff out of my brain. For years I had no comments - now I have them I like them; I admit it - I enjoy seeing the same people and having what I hope is a bond with them. I've probably alienated a few with this post but ...

absurdoldbird said...

In my experience with blogging, the people who often leave anonymous comments come into one or more of these categories: they are those who don't have blogs of their own and can't understand the comment form; they are people who don't have blogs of their own, know you from 'real life' and don't realise that they should put a name into their comment to identify themselves in some way; they are those who click on the wrong ID by mistake and, before they know it, they've okayed their comment for posting; they are people who have never posted a comment to anything before and are shy. And very very occasionally, they are nasty people.

I'm hoping this comment will post. I'm having to use my Wordpress account again as I was finding so many comment forms on Blogger/Blogspot blogs weren't accepting my comments via my google sign in or my blog here, that I got fed up and deleted my blog.

I'm sorry you've had what appears to be a nasty comment. To my mind, it just looks cryptic, not necessarily nasty.

I'm with you on people who don't reciprocate with comments. I don't know what to say about that at all.

French Fancy said...

Hello you absurd old bird who I actually am proud to call a Real.Life.Friend. Yes people - I do have some - even a crabby hypocritical, outspoken person like me has lovely friends like absurd old bird.

It's good to see you back - now stick around this time

xx

Laura [What I Like] said...

Well if I really love their blog then I stick with it, but if I'm just sort of "eh" about it I drop them like a hot potato.

cheshire wife said...

I am sorry that I am late commenting. I am still reading your blog! (I have been working). I know what you mean by this post and I have stoppped reading the blogs of people who do not comment on my blog.

VictoriaArt said...

Dear FF, I have been tossing this subject around in my head a lot and I concluded this: Anonymous commenters are fine and if they leave nasty or rediculous comments, they just show their low voltage...and everybody else will see it too! So don't you worry and keep your confidence. As to bloggers who never return the favor, it has bugged me too and for some reason it hurts, since we usually hold these bloggers in high esteme. A friend of mine once told me after I complained about it "Who gives a hoot about if he/she responds back" and as much as I had resent it in the first place, I think she is right.
It is our pride and maybe a bit of missing confidence. Do as you please and let it go...Or pull out yourself if it bothers you too much. Whatever you do, be confident and keep up what you do, because it matters to more people then you think!

XX
Victoria

miriam said...

have just written a v long and i thought scintillating (bad spell) post and have LOST the bugger, am rivetted by the potential discussions and netiquette of this blogging world which i must say i will only be able to immerse self in when child-free of after she sleeps and she achieved an all-time high on tues (full moon) when still singing pirate songs at 940pm.....am off to have a good read of you before she gets back in 40 mins, then have a v v v vlong family passover/easter weekend ahead so have stashed some pretty little minatures to get me through the inevitable conflict that will arise ( i predict by 8 tonight!) xx have a good weekend, x miriam

Dedene said...

That would annoy me too. Usually the Anonymous commenters are chinese.

I made a super chicken meatloaf last night, I'll share the recipe with you. Also, do you know these sites for great low-fat, low-carb recipes? www.sparkrecipes.com and www.shape.com/healthy-eating

Hope the lasagna turns out!!!

French Fancy said...

Laura - I totally agree with you but that is because we are both brilliant people

cw - you are a very busy person and I don't even know how you blog as well as do everything else

Victoria - yes, I think you are absolutely right. Anyway I have been back to this particular person's page and I think we are back on track. I have to let it go, just as you say

Miriam - how lovely to see you here - I do hope you get a blog going as well. It is very annoying when one has done a long reply only to see Blogger swallow it up. That was your inauguration ceremony

Have a lovely weekend too, sweetiexx

Dedene - since I've removed the anon facility all my spammers have disappeared - double blessings

Will come round to find out more about the recipes

A Woman Of No Importance said...

FF, I've now removed the anonymouse section of comments too, as I was really getting troubled by the viagra and other drugs spam - Terrible, really...

I hope you are having a wonderful Easter weekend, my friend - I value your friendship enormousely, even although I don't always comment - I do always read and you always make me think about what you're up to and the lovely life you lead.

I don't think you should put yourself down about looking at others' more academic blogs to learn things... I think you have a gift and we each have our own niches, do we not, here in Blogworld?

As for being a RLF (Real Life Friend), I too feel we would have been firm friends in the Other Blogworld... Meanwhile, I'm just pleased to know you here. Was all that just too gushing??! xox

French Fancy said...

AWONI - no, it is not gushing. Something has happened to me whilst you have been posting all this personal stuff. I have peeped through into you and I think you are a Wonderful Person. I didn't quite appreciate you enough before and then gave you that silly hard time about all the Wiki stuff - still, that's history.

You see -everything changes.

x