Sunday, January 25, 2009

For goodness sakes woman, have a bit of mystery

Am I alone in thinking that one of those 'S' letters in that image alongside is redundant? But it comes together with the tag that I've been given by Completely Alienne to tell you 10 honest and interesting things about myself. Is there anything left, I hear you ask? What with the six random things meme and other titbits revealed, plus all the other dregs I throw up from time to time, my pool of anecdotal bits and pieces is fast dwindling. However, in the interest of blogging fraternities and tags that must be obeyed, I'm going to do my best. How interesting they will be remains to be seen, but I promise you that they will be honest, although nothing from the private inside world that only Mr Fancy and I share.

I can eat cake for breakfast. I know lots of people are strong-willed enough to never eat sweet things, let alone at the breaking of the fast, but I love them, adore them and could eat them at every meal. This is why I almost never buy them and seldom make them.

I have countless pairs of black trousers. To anyone seeing me they will think I've got the same ones on all the time, but I can see the slight variations in leg shape, leg length and pockets yes/no, waistband yes/no, and all the other differences that make them yet another pair that I must buy.

I can't whistle, waggle my ears, roll my tongue or my 'r's. (that could have been four things really).

I find it very difficult to map-read. Mr FF and I were once on holiday in California - he was driving and I was navigating. Well I call it navigating, but I got in a muddle with the road numbers and the junction numbers and it all got very excitable (me) and wearying (him) and I thought seriously about just leaving the car and taking the next flight back. I didn't though and it all came right in the end.

I can sit for a long time just day dreaming. My mind goes blank, I stare out of the window at the beautiful view and I enter quite a trance-like state. This is happening with increasing frequency the older I get. By the time I'm 80 I'll probably have become a yogi or something.

I bite my nails and wish I didn't. I go through phases where I manicure them and manage to keep them out of my mouth but it never lasts for long.

I'm not a very diligent cleaner. Mr FF often cleans the house from top to bottom and then I feel a bit guilty and get cross with him for being decent enough to do this. Having said that, I am very tidy and like to keep things in the boxes that they came in. So a bit of a contradiction there really.

I have an allergic reaction to wine and for this reason seldom drink the stuff.

I do all my blogging and studying in the dining room. On its walls are various musical instruments, none of which I can play.

I'm a very messy eater and at home tuck a napkin into my collar to avoid the stains. In a restaurant however I have to be extraordinarily careful. One of our best meals was at a well known sea food restaurant in Brittany where they came and tucked a plastic bib around your neck before presenting you with a huge platter of fruits de mer. Why can't this be normal restaurant procedure everywhere, I ask myself.

Now I must find four suckers people to pass this on to and I'm picking
A Super Dilettante
Not only in Thailand
Troy
Blu

45 comments:

Anonymous said...

Your funniest blog entry ever.

Moannie said...

Now I can actually see you. I, like you imagine that there cannot be a piece of me that I have not exposed to the blogworld...you done good, girl and very funny. I now have a picture of the waiter at Maxim's Paris, tucking a bib under the chin of a beautifully coiffed, bejewelled and gowned woman and no-one turning a hair.

Henry the Dog said...

That was such good fun to read. Mum laughed loads about you getting cross with Mr FF for tidying up. She says that's definitely a 'woman' thing. Mum's like you - she could eat cake for breakfast too, and lunch and dinner. Once when she went to a restaurant she had three desserts instead of the usual three courses. But she doesn't do it very often - eat cake.

Carol and Chris said...

OMG OMG OMG....Your allergic to wine??? I would be devastated!!!

Now i've got that out my system (I am Scottish after all!!) that was a very funny MeMe.

I now feel under a certain amount of pressure but will try to rise to the occassion :-)

C x

Cynthia said...

Cute list. Imagine that you have a Mr. Fancy that takes care of all the difficult cleaning. (Mine used to do that!) I'm just getting back to the blogworld after a week of intense work world tasks. You have been busy! I'm going now to see your previous post.

laurie said...

you might be interested in knowing that you and i are twins in many ways. good thing you didn't tag me because my list would be quite similiar:

messy eater, thousands of black pants, daydreamer, directionally challenged....

except wine. i can drink white wine. red not so much.

LadyFi said...

Please send Mr F over to my place immediately! My husband is allergic to the vacuum cleaner!

Bibs in restaurants - yes please! Especially when trying to eat spaghetti with sauce...

I can chocolate for breakfast (and sometimes do)...

Dumdad said...

Comments deleted as requested.

Brother Tobias said...

I think including things that you can't do is a stroke of genius. Suddenly I have a bottomless, untapped source of meme material.

You're not alone in the map-reading thing. The Social Secretary and I nearly divorced in the middle of Glasgow once.

If your allergic reaction to wine involves snoring and headaches the next day, I have the same allergy!

A Woman Of No Importance said...

I resemble that Meme, particularly re map-reading, black troos, and messy eating! Even in decent places, I still tuck my bib in to my collar, or decollete - What's the point of a bib on your lap?! I have a whole 'cake shelf' to get over before food would fall neatly into my lap!

artslice said...

Very interesting! Love all the quirky, wildcard information :) I'm a slobby eater myself and my daughter has taken after me. Stain remover is a staple in our house :)
Happy Sunday!
~Brenda

Troy said...

I wouldn't take the navigating problem too personally - its a women's thing ;-) Mrs Troy is the same. If travelling down the page she has to turn the map book upside down and she still gets us lost. If it wasn't that men were the better drivers then I would do the navigating. Enjoyed all your other honest items too. Thanks for the tag, I'll do it in due course (fairly soon).

Eternal Undergrad said...

Regarding navigating, I DID get out of the car when I was "navigating" during our honeymoon in the States and refused to get back in. As it happened, though, we were on our way to see something I really wanted to see, so I eventually cracked and got back in the car with all the good will of a truculent toddler.

Embarrassingly enough, this was "navigating with sat-nav assistance" - so I had little to do other than suggest whether the next road was actually the road we were supposed to take (or was it the following one).

Contemporary Troubadour said...

The room where you blog sounds like great fun -- what instruments are on the wall? I tend to favor the couch for writing. My little desk is a good work station for paying bills, printing things, etc., but for inspired work, I need to be comfortable :)

Jennysmith said...

Great one, FF. A little light relief for you from your enormous workload.

with you on the black trousers - can't get enough of 'em! And funnily enough, i spilt something down my best posh top at a restaurant today. xxxx

lady jicky said...

Ms Fancy - my Mum can eat cake for breakfast too. As she has this ability she has a nice selection of black pants too. "so my bum will not look big" Huh?
You know what I think? I think the next time you get one of those "thingys" - LIE!
Yeah, make it up . Lets face it - you have run out of stuff so - go for it!
Here is a freebie for you - "I make my own macaroons and sell them at the market"
Love Kenzo ( who'd love a strawberry roonie in you next batch thanks !)

marc aurel said...

As usual, fascinating, amusing and giving me the real pleasure of getting to know someone quite well thatI will almost certainly never meet. Ain't blogs great?

marc aurel said...

I'm so impressed by your candid revealing of yourself that I am tagging you to do another set of questions. cf my blog....

Mama said...

Hello FF, your Honest Scraps are excellent, except for the Wine allergy, that's to bad, esp living in France, Thank heavens I am only allergic to Amoxicillin. Vanni wears the bib thing for Fruits de mer, I agree that they would make sense for all meals. I would bite my nails if they did not keep breaking off. nice to find out a bit more about the lovely lady behind the inspiring blog, Hope you had a great weekend, hugs, Kathy.

Lane said...

Cake for breakfast is very sensible. The crumbs down my jumper this morning are the evidence. Like you I need a bib:-)

French Fancy said...

Anon - hello stranger. The thing is that I wasn't trying to be funny.

Moannie -yes, it's a tricky balance - discretion and blogging. I really have to rein in my natural impulse to reveal so much. I kept diaries as a child and as a young woman and I suppose this is just a natural extension of that, except for the fact that it is not locked with a gilt key.

Henry - He doesn't really tidy - I do the tidying but don't do things like pulling furniture out when I sweep or taking the books off the shelves before dusting. He is a very thorough cleaner and I'm a lick and a (feeble) polish. Once in a while however I go on a blitz and turn cupboards out and the like.I'm am naturally tidy though.

Carol - it is a shame about the wine. If we are going to a restaurant I dose myself up with quite strong anti-histamines before we go so I can partake of the grape. However, there is a very cheap brand of champagne (under €12) that suits me just fine and I love the taste of it.

Cynthia - I bet your brain aches. Sit and relax here with us.

laurie - we can be black trouser addiction twins.

LadyFi - we sweep here more often than vacuum.I don't know why there is always so much dust. I've switched to e-cloths and they do the job just fine but I think housework takes a lot out of one. Mr FF is tall and strong and I'm weak and feeble :p

Dumdad - ta.

BroTob - navigation does make people very heated. As for the wine - what happens to me is my nose swells, my lips tingle and I find it hard to breathe, although I used to get the symptoms you describe as well :).

WONI - I've got a 'cake shelf' as well. They catch all my droppages nicely.

artslice - hello. Maybe messy eating is genetic. Can't recall if my mum dropped food. She used to be a brilliant cook but by choice could have lived on cheese sandwiches and icecream. Not much mess to be made with that.

Troy - hmmm, how to respond? I'll just skate over it. No I won't. I'm a very good driver as indeed are most of the women I know (some of whom can read maps).Poor Mrs Troy :)

EtUN - now getting lost with a satnav would make a funny story. I know what you mean though - that 'turn left after 1000 metres/yards' and there's so many to choose from.I've also done the 'stop the car I'm getting out' thing as well. He never does and I never would (this must be a scenario that happens all over the world).

ContemTroub - on the walls are mandolins, violins and a trumpet. They look beautiful up there and stay out of harm's way. They also go with the decor of that room, which is very 'woody'. We also have my dad's art-deco bureau and cabinet in there, inlaid with stained glass tulips. It's a lovely room to be in.

Jenny - did the Caroline Charles trousers get an outing yet? What did you have to eat? I love hearing menus. In fact I love reading menus and spend ages selecting what to eat when we go to our favourite place (which I've blogged about in the past).

ladyjickey and a big welcome to little Kenzo. I could never make up things for a meme like this. I'd be crossing a line. If I wasn't going to do it properly I wouldn't pick it up. But thanks. (macaroons are a big deal here in France; books have been written about them and there is a lovely blog 'Paris Breakfasts' that feature them quite often)

marc - oh no, not another one. I'll have to wait for a new burst of inspiration.Thanks for the compliments though.

Mama -aw, you are kind. I love fruits de mer but the restaurant we had them at is immortalised in my mind because Misty (we only had the one bichon at that time)was sitting under the table , quietly we thought, when all of a sudden she managed to slip out of her harness and took off across the restaurant. There is not much dignity to be maintained when you are both running around a big posh room - in a bib - trying to catch a little white dog.

French Fancy said...

Lane - we clashed. But in a good way.

Cake for breakfast is heaven. I enjoy baking and I like to think I'm quite good at it - I do it for the afternoon tea parties for our neighbours, but boy can I eat a lot of it. No control.

Lucy Fishwife said...

I always tell myself I want a healthy muesli and fresh fruit juice kind of breakfast. But when I actually wake up the first thing that comes to mind is CAKE (is it a throwback to babyhood that your first instinct is for something sweet?) with, half an hour or so later, a key-change to BACON SANDWICH...

Completely Alienne said...

Your scraps were very funny - much better than mine! I thoroughly enjoyed reading them. I am so sorry about the wine allergy, what a pain when you live in France. I too have to confess to having eaten cake for breakfast, and chocolate.

A Woman Of No Importance said...

FF, thank you for your kindness over at mine today - I enjoyed the slice of cake you left for me! ; )

nikkicrumpet said...

I'm pretty sure we were seperated at birth...I'm a cake eater, nail biter, non-cleaner upper too! We could be twins!

david mcmahon said...

I prefer driving to navigating!

lady jicky said...

Oh Yes Ms Fancy - Macaroons are big deal and we do visit "French Breakfasts"
Mum goes on about roonies that she has had on her trips to Paris.
Oh you are a good soul - you will not lie but if you do run out of ideas and you must do a "meme" I still think some jazzing up of the facts is sorta OK- but what do I know I am a puppy - chew on it - I chew on everything! LOL
see ya!
Kenzo

Mama said...

I'm back, sorry I had to giggle at the thought of you two in bibs chasing Misty around the restaurant heehee

Marie Reed said...

suckers..people! It is fuuuun reading these little tidbits:)

French Fancy said...

Lucy - my fave healthy breakfast is oats mixed with natural yoghurt and honey and I have that almost every morning. But if I was a thin person who was trying to put on weight (in my dreams) then my brekkie of choice would probably be cheesecake followed by apple crumble, (it's never happened).

CA - no way were they better than yours - it's all relative anyway. It's like one's cooking never tastes so great to the person who made it, whilst everyone else is salivating and throwing compliments in one's direction.

AWONI - you're very welome. Fingers' crossed

nikki - slovenly twins with bad nails and cake crumbs all down us -go us

david - I prefer Mr FF driving me whilst he prefers me driving him. However, when it comes to map reading there is no contest

Kenzo - the nicest 'roonie' I've ever had was at our favourite restaurant and it was actually a savoury one, served as an amuse bouche. It was coloured black through the use of squid ink and there was some green stuff in the middle and it was totally divine.

Mama - she was a minx that day. Mr FF had got her harness attached to his chair leg which I suppose gave her a of slack to then wriggle out of it. She gave us quite a chase through the whole room - everyone was laughing (in England of course there would have been mutters about 'disgusting dogs in the place'.

Marie - thanks cherie

Ian Lidster said...

Aw, it's OK to do these. Tells us more about you in this abstract world of blogging

A Confused Take That Fan said...

Ha, very funny French Fancy. I too can eat cake morning noon and night. I too am a shocking map reader. I am not of an age where I need a bib. My mum tends to use her boobs as a drip/crumb catcher. Makes me laugh. The Brittany restaurant that does Fruits de la mer with bib sounds perfect! Thanks for a v amusing list!

cheshire wife said...

Map reading seems to be a man thing. My husband only has to look at a map once and he has memorised it. Now that we have a sat nav. there are fewer arguments.

Mama said...

Me again, hoe you are feeling better today, my book arrived Tue Esme Lennox, I am going to read it as soon as I have finished Mad Girls, yes it is jumping the coffee table queue but I cant wait. Check out my post on Archie and Maude, I think you will enjoy it (the one before the current one). bbfn, Kathy.

Mama said...

that's hope btw not hoe lol

French Fancy said...

Hiya Ian, thanks for that. Will be popping by soon

ACTTF - we seem to share a lot of 'gifts' :)

cheshire wife - my man does that too - it just amazes me. Yes, we've got a satnav in each car now and I still find things confusing - there is an art in deciphering all that 'take the left turn 2000 yds ahead'

Mama - never bother correcting your typos on here - I'm the typo queen and should really make an effort to read what I put before pressing that orange button.I hope you enjoy Esme Lennox as much as I did - my copy is in the artistic hands of Mr FF's ma, but she chose to read the Alan Bennett one first.

Sorry I missed commenting on one of your posts. I've been very weary and lethargic lately and that's been reflected in absolutely everything. I will catch up.

Deb said...

Hi ~ I too enjoyed learning more about you - and found out that we have some things in common. My husband is a better cleaner than I and I also get grumpy about it - odd, I know. I love cake for breakfast and because of that I own many pairs of black pants, black tops...they cover the layers of cake :)
Enjoy your day!

Steve said...

Cake for breakfast... now that is style. I must admit I always start the day with 4 bourbon biscuits and a hot cup of tea (sugared) in which to dunk them.

Elizabeth said...

So glad you are a messy eater like me.
I cannot eat wearing decent clothes.......or else have to change immediately.
Loved learning more about you!

French Fancy said...

Deb - see, you and I have men that don't see housework as 'women's work', just something that needs to be done and consequently help out or just plain do it. We're lucky but I suppose it's a leftover thing from our childhood that women did the house (although my mum would rather sit and read a book than dust a ledge - and it showed).

As for the black clothes - doesn't it make life easier (although I wear shades of purple and lilac quite often)

Steve - is that your pre-breakfast or the main thing? Other people's eating habits fascinate me. I love the minute details of what makes up a person's day.I prefer custard creams to bourbons though and haven't had either for a very long time (I have a mild biscuit addiction and consequently try and keep boring ones in the house)

Elizabeth - the times I have embarrassed myself in a restaurant or at a dinner table with stuff falling down my front.

Reluctant Blogger said...

You have a wine allergy????? OMG. That is too serious for words. Don't tell me you can't eat cheese either? Life wouldn't be worth living.

I don't have a sweet tooth so the thought of cake for breakfast is not appealing.

But I share a few of your traits - hopeless at cleaning (and very unenthusiastic) and a messy eater. I can daydream for hours too and whilst I don't bite my nails I have a pen/pencil chewing habit that I have never managed to break.

French Fancy said...

Reluctant Blogger - hello. Do you know I reckon I'm about 3% plastic because of all the pen ends that I've chewed.

How great not to have a sweet tooth - I once worked with someone whose mum had never allowed her sugar of any sort (except for fruit) and she also did not have any desire for chocolate/cake/sweets etc. My mum didn't eat sweets or choc but my dad was a constant sweet sucker and I also like sweets, especially kiddie ones like jelly beans and rainbow drops.

Meredith Teagarden said...

These are always great to read. Sadly, I eat like you...

French Fancy said...

Meredith - hello and what a lovely name. That's almost worth changing one's real name to.

What a shame I never sit with you round a dinner table. I'm almost always the only one to do droppages.