Friday, November 28, 2008

All by myself



Mr French Fancy is in England for 10 days or so and it is a long time since we have been separated. One gets so used to having someone sharing a space that it comes as a bit of a shock to suddenly find yourself with so much more of an area to roam around in. There are a few advantages - I suppose so anyway (trying to think of them takes a bit of doing though).

We met 11 years ago this month- well,actually, we didn't exactly meet. Ours was an internet friendship that then turned into a cyber romance (I know, you've immediately started thinking about that Second Life couple, haven't you) and, when we finally met in real life about two months after chatting all the time online, we realised that life would be better for both of us if we became An Item.

He is as perfect for me as anybody could be and I have to say that we have a lovely life together. I sometimes feel a bit guilty that I don't really have any worries, but I have had my share in the past so I've done my time.

That cliché about having to kiss a lot of frogs - I don't know about that. I'd been engaged four times (and in fact got engaged a few weeks after we met, had a ceremony booked at Kensington Roof Gardens but we decided to cancel it in the end) but somehow it never felt like the right person and I suppose I was so young and silly that it was always the idea of the marriage that was appealing. The second time, the wedding was called off with just nine days to go so that was a Bit Of A Situation really. I always gave engagement rings and presents back though - I was fair.

47 comments:

Henry the Dog said...

Well, I think that's dead romantic. I hope you have many more years together. I think it's lovely that you've finally found your soulmate. Mum & Hugh aren't married, but mum says she's married to him in her head. When he's away she misses him, but she's never lonely. She says they are two different things. I guess at least one advantage is that you can have your music as loud as you want:)

French Fancy said...

We're not married but we did sign a civil partnership agreement. We felt that it was more for us than a marriage agreement. There's some bloggings done about it

http://frenchfancy.blogspot.com/search/label/pacs

I hope we have lots of years left - although I am somewhat older than him (and there was me recently saying I was quite a private blogger).

Henry the Dog said...

Gosh, you've got a toyboy! And I found out today that you like Killers! You are a dark horse Ms Fancy. I'm starting to think I should start at the beginning of your blog and read it all. Will start with the pacs;)

Henry the Dog said...

Just read about your PACS and mum says it sounds like a typical FAN -French Administration Nightmare. But at least it had a happy ending. Think I will spend some of the weekend reading the rest of your blog.

French Fancy said...

Hope the first couple of years don't turn out to be too dull. I didn't really develop my 'pink' style until a few months ago. Up until then I had a different template and I think it affected my joi de blog vivre :)

Mama said...

Sorry to hear that you are missing your Mr French Fancy. I just had a month away from Vanni (who coincidently is my toy boy), we got married because it meant less hassle when we moved to CA(romantic or what!) but like you he is 'the one', that I know.

When Mr FF is away you could always rekindle your internet chats (now that is romantic).

justme said...

How nice! Actually I think that thats rather a GOOD way to meet someone. You get to know much more about their mind before you become distracted by the body!
Lol! How much older is 'somewhat'? I am 24 years older than the Boy.....mind you, that is hardly a match made in heaven, and yours sounds as though it just might be.
Enjoy the time on your own, and then you can have a lovely reunion when he gets home.

French Fancy said...

Mama - I didn't realise Vanni wasn't with you during your recent European trip.A month apart is ages; you must have really missed him.

We do chat over Skype in the evening but - with the hour's difference and because I get up very early (about 6am) - I don't spend much time in the evening doing so. Shame, eh.

jusme - you've said it exactly as it was. We knew so much about each other without the distraction of appearance and body language. Very early on I thought 'wow, I think he is *the one*, not realising then that he in fact felt exactly the same way.

His ma told me that he'd always talked aout wanting to meet an older woman because he felt he did not have any connection with the women he had met of his own age. Lucky for me really.

French Fancy said...

p.s. -the age difference is 15 years.

lady jicky said...

Oh Hell, here is Ms Fancy , Justme and Mama with toyboys and all I have is an "Old Boy" LOL
We got married at 21 and have been together for 31 years!! Bloody hell thats long. It has not been all fun either - we have had our "moments" but that is life.
Hey - do not feel guilty because life is great now!! That is such a waste of time . Why do we women have to feel guilty all the time? I am really trying to stop that feeling in my life now - wish I started years ago but better late than never! So - you go and enjoy it all!!! Now for the good parts of the man of the house missing for 10 days - when my husband was away I got FULL CONTROL OF THE TV!! Whats with all that crazed channel changing they do??? Drives me NUTS! LOL

Mama said...

Yeah FF, I am either in the UK with the family missing Vanni or in CA with Vanni missing the family, what can you do eh ?!!.
I have 5 years on Vanni, hehe lady jicky you're funny.
Have a lovely weekend FF, 10 days is not so bad Mr FF will be back before you know it, besides you still have poppy and misty oh and Napoleon!.

Blu said...

I thought you were a romantic. I am hopeless at all that romantic stuff. Last year I was on my own a lot and found the forum a great help. When I am alone I do love not having to cook things like potatoes, I throw some weird looking concoction together, and watch some film that I know he would hate.

French Fancy said...

ladyjicky - you're still in the bloom of youth 'cos 50 is the new 30. It must be great to have found someone to share your life with for so long. I've got to tell you though that it is me that *controls* the remotes. Mr FF is easy like that and,actually, we don't watch much tv. Prefer to watch a DVD or mess about on here.

Mama - it must be very hard sometimes, missing people so much. I know my 10 day solitude is nothing really and, as you say, I do have Napoléon. I'll be glad when this assignment is over - it's a difficult one.

Blu - it's better to be on your own than be with the wrong person. I've learnt that myself too. It's funny you mention potatoes - they don't seem to suit me these days either. But I love cooking an I have been making proper meals for one.

nikkicrumpet said...

Having made a HUGE marital mistake in the past...and then finding mister right LOOOONG distance...I can relate to your story. I'm glad you held out for the right Mr. Right!

koala said...

Instead of the Second Life couple my first thought was how long we have internet in our lives. An 11 year old marriage matched in the web- Wow!

Contemporary Troubadour said...

Long-distance love is hard (that's mostly what I blog about over on my page). I just got back from seven days with Mr. CT -- a treat after nothing but short weekends together every three weeks or so this fall. I do have to say that being alone gives me space to think and write (which I find to be much harder to do when Mr. CT is around because his companionship is so lovely). Hopefully, you'll get to treat yourself to you-time while you're waiting for Mr. FF to come home.

Carol and Chris said...

I too was engaged before I met Chris and, like you, it was more the idea of getting married that appealed...when he actually suggested setting a date I ran in the opposite direction as fast as my legs could carry me!!

I met Chris through my best friend...I'd known Tom for about ten years and during that time he met up with a good friend of his from school about once a year (I had even spoken to the friend, Chris, on the phone a couple of times)...then one night Tom told me that Chris was coming to London for a meeting. We met that night and that was it...we've been together ever since (6 years together married for nearly 4). I know I am very lucky...I absolutely adore him and we have a great life together :-)

I do hate it when he's away so always try and have a pampering time. Deep bubble bath, yummy chocolate, red wine and a good book or a movie that Chris would hate!! Bliss!!

C x

French Fancy said...

nikki - how do you find time to blog Nik? every entry you do has so much details and pictures and yet you have such a busy life. It must be love that keeps you going

koala - because internet romance was fairly new back 11 years ago I kept the secret of how we met from everyone - said I met him at a party.

I never even meant to be in a chat room - I was trying to find a bichon frise MIRC group that some USA based bichon owners were running. But I was a techie newbie and got lost on the many chat places on IRC and ended up on one he was in - so it is like fate, it's not like I was looking for love

Cont Troub - yes, you're the couple with the long distance relationship. I must come back and see you and write down your URL. I do forget the ones I like. It must be very hard for you both.

I have to say that doing my essay over the last two days has been a lot easier. Not that he even bothers me when I'm studying though. It must be a psychological thing.

Carol - isn't it scary at first when you meet someone so special, that you know you want to be with forever. You keep worrying it's going to go wrong. Love can really make people strange at first. It's definitely like a fever. So glad you met Chris, you probably wouldn't be in Thailand now if you hadn't. When are you going back to the UK?

lady jicky said...

Oooh , you did find a rare one Fancy - doesn't hog the romotes! LOL

Anonymous said...

Yeah - just HOW much older than RENE RUTLINGER, RIMINGTON?

Your mind control slave 'dog' toyboy is probably getting on a bit these days - pushing 56 years old?

You however, are an OLD HAG of 70+

WAKE UP AND SMELL THE COFFEE.

The GAME IS UP AND OVER.

Steve said...

Never feel guilty about being happy. Guilt is a nasty pointless emotion that solves nothing at all. There's enough sorrow in the world - enjoy being happy and work on making it last is my advice!

French Fancy said...

lady jicky - perhaps (dare I even say it?) European men are different from Oz men. Hope Lord jicky doesn't take offence.

Anon - I could delete you but I'm not going to. I think you're funny. How come your parents let you have a computer in your bedroom? You are lucky.

Hiya Steve - well, I suppose because a lot of people I know are not having the best time in the world atm. But then my life wouldn't suit a lot of people, I guess.

cheshire wife said...

My husband is away a lot. I find that it is quite nice to have the house to myself and do what I want, when I want. The down side is that it takes ages to get DIY jobs done and on that score I just have to be patient.

French Fancy said...

cheshire wife - I don't have the DIY gene at all. Did your mirror ever get put up?

Elizabeth said...

Like the comment above.
Yes, I love discussions and sometimes track down people who disagree with me.........!
So glad Mr.French Fancy and you are happy.
So much better than the other way - but what bliss to have time on your own to miss him.

namaki said...

Hi there ! can I come in ? thanks for your visit ... you said we had the same musical tastes ;-) I liked the story of your bichon... and by now your Mr Franch fancy is probably back home or will soon be ;-) you have a nice blog !

namaki said...

by the way I'mm adding your blog to my list .. ;-)

Larry M. Brow said...

So where in Brittany are you? In high school (in the previous millenium) I got to tour Brittany on a bicycle with a group of twenty-five students. It was a beautiful month with miraculous weather and a fair amount of adventure, including a village where they hadn't seen Americans since the Liberation. Hope it's all still as beautiful.

French Fancy said...

Elizabeth - it is funny, you've got to admit it. I especially liked the CAPITALS.
I'm quite enjoying being in the state of 'missing someone'. It's very easy to become complacent.

Hello namaki - thanks for coming on over. Mr Fancy will be back next weekend but we are chatting on Skype quite a lot. I'll be back to your place very soon to learn more about you

Larry - the way you put it, about finding places where no Americans had been since the war did make me laugh. I'm down in the centre - in the Cotes d'Armor region.

French Fancy said...

p.s. for larry - it is a beautiful paradise here - lakes, forests, quiet sleepy villages - and in the summer it is impossible to move for the tourists that seem to flock here. Can't complain though - we flocked and stayed.

http://reluctantmemsahib.wordpress.com said...

i think frog kissing is good. you absolutely have to kiss a few before you meet The One. Unlike you, though, i didn't give the ring back. So you are fairer than I.

Henry the Dog said...

FFancy, mum and me have just finished reading your blog - it was really interesting. Mum now remembers how much she liked Cottage Cheese (when she was young she used to have cottage cheese and chicken flavour crisp sandwiches), she now wants a pair of Rocket Dog boots, she wants to go to the Loire region, she wants to go to New York, she loved the Mona Lisa before and after visit to US pics, she grimaced when reading about your op and she says she's very sorry about your dad, but she can empathise enormously. Aren't blogs great? But like you, I keep mine a secret;)

French Fancy said...

Reluctant memsahib - hello there, you ring-keeper you. I'll be over soon.

Hello Henry - you must have been reading my blog whilst I was reading yours. Unlike mine,your blog has been interesting from the start to the latest entry. I was very half-hearted at first - not like now, I love it now.

I thought I was a secretive discrete blogger but I don't think I am really - oops.

French Fancy said...

there's me - having won the spelling bee at school making havoc of 'discrete' . Oh dear, what can I say - it does seem to happen a lot these days.

DJ Kirkby said...

Having a magnificent man is the most wonderful feeling. I know 'cos I've got one too. xo

Hadriana's Treasures said...

Thank you for your lovely comment FF on my blog as always. Sorry to hear Mr.FF is away and yes..you did say you were a private soul so gosh! But well done you. The picture is great - did you do it? And the anonymous comment and your reply are both very amusing!!!

Contemporary Troubadour said...

Thanks for your nice comment over at my place -- and yes, the whole getting work done more easily is partly psychological, I'm sure. Good luck with that essay! I think the vacation time this past week has left me with less motivation to get back to grading and planning. Wasn't supposed to work that way ...

French Fancy said...

DJ- hi there. I wonder what it would be like if one could meet exactly the right person quite early on in life. If nothing else it would put the divorce lawyers out of business.

Hadriana - my first couple of blog entries were quite revealing and then I clammed up. I wonder what happened here :). Must be connected with Mr FF being away.

I have to say that I am the worst artist in the world and cannot draw one thing. I searched for a while to find a suitable image for this entry - that's half the fun for me.

Hello again Cont Troub - get on with your grading, you. Seriously though, aren't blogs good for a 10-minute dip into something other than serious study or work? I do my essay prep/writing for about 30 mins than have a 10 min blog break. It works for me.

Hadriana's Treasures said...

Yes I go through that clamming up and not clamming up thing...maybe it's a British thing!!

Anonymous said...

And by the way.....the 'anonymous' post above isn't me!! :))

French Fancy said...

Hade - I hope all my secrets don't come tumbling out now - I'd better begin clamming up again :)

Hello Anonymous no.2 - I don't even know who THOSE NAMES are. Gotta laugh - I knew it wasn't you though. Have a good holiday.

natural attrill said...

Glad to hear you are happy!
What has happened to your blog? I have visitd here for ages, and you never used to have many comments, now there are so many! how did you manage that?
P.x

French Fancy said...

Penny, I know. It's nice to have people I think of as 'friends' in Blogland.

I think when I changed the template my mindset also changed and I started getting really into blogging. I was always so half-hearted before, didn't travel around blogland reading other people's blogs very much. Now I read such fascinating entries by people, see great pics and learn new facts all the time. It's so addictive.

Contemporary Troubadour said...

Two papers left!! I'm getting there, I promise.

Yes, blogging is a nice break from whatever it is I have to do. Though sometimes it becomes procrastiblogging, and then I spend much more time writing on the blog instead of working on essays for my classes. Both are personal kinds of writing since I'm doing an MFA, but I guess I feel like I get more encouragement from the blog community than in workshop, on occasion!

French Fancy said...

Hello again CT, only two left - you've done well. My current tutor (I'm studying with the Open University - towards a BA in Humanities) is a very very slow marker, not helped by the fact that we submit our essays over the net and she's not very au fait with the system.

I had to look up MFA = (Master of Fine Arts degree for any other Brit who didn't know). You are SO busy - what with the travelling back and forth, your studies and your students...and, of course, your blog. You must always have so much to finish in a certain amount of time. Maybe it's better that way but if I'd still had a full-time job I don't think I could do the OU.

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